Where the Lord calls to serve
I’m doing something I normally don’t do. In fact I’m terrified.
This whole coronavirus pandemic is effecting everyone around us differently. Right now, I can say with absolute certainty that it is by the grace of God that children are not that effected. With that being said, the adult population is in fact hurting and there’s an inkling in my heart that there’s something I’m called to. I can only imagine how overwhelmed the adult ICU nurses are feeling right now. My heart just goes out to them. They are on the frontlines of this unstoppable virus.
I’ve only ever taken care of critically ill children in my 10 years of being a nurse. But two weeks ago, I felt a calling in my heart to go serve in the adult ICU. I asked Cessna what he thought about it. He said it was a great idea. Cessna’s advice is never based on emotional fears or materialism. His advice is always based on the good it will bring about. I already knew in my heart what God wanted me to do. He laid it out for me the day before I asked Cessna, in words I couldn’t miss. “Step out of your comfort zone and serve me”.
I am terrified. Scared out of my mind. But I call upon the Lord and this is how He’s leading. Being a PICU nurse is so different from being an Adult ICU nurse. Every inclination of my mind is saying just run. I want to run the other way. Yet I know how the story of Jonah goes when he runs. God doesn’t allow him to just keep running. There was a purpose. There was a mission. This is something I know nothing about. This may be my most difficult “mission” by far, for now anyway. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to look like. But I know God already there. So I will go where God is sending me, and for now it will be the adult ICU.
When this is all over, I will go back to the world I know, pediatrics. The world will hardly remember each sacrificing individual, but the world will remember a time when the nations came together in prayer. The nations will call upon the Lord and remember Him. I will remember all the nurses that stepped ahead before me, inspiring me to serve in capacities I never imagined. I wonder if they were scared as I am. They are rockstar nurses and fearless. They are some of the most bravest individuals I know.
I feel like I’m going out into this battlefield where I can’t see the enemy. This unstoppable virus. Yet! My God is already there. My friends are there. So today I covet your prayers, for myself and for all of us.