The Advice of Christians
Christians can sometimes offer the best advice because their advice is for the most part is biblical.
It was around this time last year, I was sitting around with a few of my church friends. I’m not sure how we drifted off into the topic of marriage but as all things and all our conversations seem to revolve around marriage and kids, let me tell you – I wasn’t surprised that our conversation ended up there, as they usually do. And because I have no insight into either of these topics, I suddenly feel like I don’t belong. This day was different however.
“Sometimes when God is silent, it’s Him saying ‘no’, no to marriage.” In this group of twenty or so people gathered around, there were only two people that were single. Though I was dating a guy around that time, I considered myself one of the two. I had never considered the fact that God could be saying ‘no’ to me. I was under the impression that to lead a Christian walk the right way meant I had to get married, have kids, etc. I think sometimes the church idolizes these two things.
The truth is, what if God is saying no to me, could that explain why relationships seem to not work out? It’s not that men don’t want to be with me or aren’t asking me out. See before I even considered “no” to being an option, I was told by others (including Christians) I was too picky. As I look back over the years and all the men I have dated, there was nothing I was being picky about. They couldn’t have been more wrong.
Thus, I spent all 2018, well in the spare moments that I had, contemplating “do I even want to get married?” See, Christians will give good advice and most of the advice they will offer has some sort of biblical truth. They will support and encourage family and marriage. But what if God is saying “no” to me, would they support me? Most of them aren’t sitting with me discussing life or checking in on me. That day, those words, made me contemplate is marriage right. So what is it, am I too picky or is God really just saying no?
How can someone who isn’t walking life with you offer advice that is right for you, for me, even if theres some truth to it? Let me tell you, there’s many people considering so many topics that seem controversial today like, abortion, divorce, being single and adopting or sperm donation, and let me tell you almost everyone will have an opinion or advice to give you.
Most people assume I want to get married because I write about it but I also write about a lot of things. And I’m writing about this today because there are many of you who are reading my blog asking these same questions. God supports family, marriage, but He also supports singleness. Let me make this clear, that night, this married woman who made that comment said nothing wrong and all the people who wish for me to get married, wish for nothing wrong. But if God supports both ends of the spectrum where does that leave me? The truth is, anyone can give good advice but none of them know that plan God has for your life. None of them know you 100%, what you’re struggling with, and where God is leading you. Something that I learned recently, though God gives us mentors, pastors, and leaders, our answers are not with them. See all the people I considered “my mentors” are hardly present today, but the God who wrote your story is present every moment with you. This post isn’t intended to give you an answer into your situation. Our answers should come from God and that is why we should know the Bible well for ourselves and have a relationship with Him.
Look to the answer seeking God, not to people.