It was a great scholar that once said, “today is the reconfirmation of the inevitable”. From here, there is no turning back.
Change is in fact inevitable. We long for it as much as we struggle with it; and why is that? Unsure of where life was leading, I decided to venture out amidst the fears that seem relatively familiar to all of us. The routine, the familiar, the daily grind now complete chaos as I quest for a new normal. Do not mistake me, change was in order and though I welcomed it, I almost didn’t expect it. This past year, not only did my job change, I went from day shift to nights, I moved to a new town, with new neighbors, I went from apartment living to being a home owner, I made new friends and lost a few. This past season, undoubtedly so. Though nothing in my world seems to make any sense at all at any given time, it’s as though my universe shifted gears and everything appears a tangled web, kind of like the busy Emergency Department. And as I stand here, I am confronted with condemnation and conviction; there lies before me, the inevitable. The crossroads.
My days consist of home projects and one can only look at so many shades of gray before they all start blending together. There are days I feel like I am losing my mind. It wasn’t just one aspect of my life that changed, everything did. There was nothing stellar with how I handled any of it because change means nothing will be the same again.
The most painful part of looking back is finding that nothing is the same anymore, not the people, not the places. What if God asks us to not look back at a past he asked us to leave? I mean, I willfully left certain places and certain people, there was a solid reason. We cling onto the familiar in hopes of some level of normalcy, though at this point it doesn’t seem possible and because fear tells us there is nothing to hope for in our future. Yet, it is fear that holds us back from making necessary changes and moving forward. Not only do we look back, we turn back, going back to the places that rob us of our peace and joy. Our souls become troubled now even more, though there is longing for what is good and right. Yet, there exists a sadness.
We all evolve. Today is the reconfirmation of the inevitable, we have to keep going-keep moving. There is no turning back. I hate change because it means that nothing will be the same again. It however brought me to a new understanding of who God is in the midst of my circumstances and gave me a clear picture of who people are. What if God asked asks us to not turn back to the past he asked us to leave… We wouldn’t see the blessing He has in store for us, I wouldn’t have seen you.