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Midnight Convictions

The other night I was going through old pictures and reminiscing the things of the past. I didn’t expect it, but a painful memory came to mind. When I was growing up, I had the worst memory! I couldn’t remember birthdays, what people said, I could even remember people. My sister can testify to this because she would get so frustrated that I would forget what she just said and always had to explain who people were. I recall praying really hard for God to help me improve my memory.

Well, he sure did. Now I remember every detail, if I care to, from what someone was wearing while they spoke a certain word. But I sat there that evening, contemplating, should I say something to this person? This person really hurt me. Sometimes we get so consumed with our lives, our circumstances, our misfortunes that we treat the people around us so shitty. I want to tell this person, they were a jerk to me. The more I thought about, they more I told myself I deserved an apologize.

Then Jesus convicted my heart and thoughts. He reminded me of what this person struggles with, why I was called into their life, and what would it change years later. I was unwilling to listen to the convictions in my heart. Don’t misunderstand, there are circumstances we have to stand up for ourselves, times we have to walk away, and sometimes close certain doors. And I did all three of those things many years ago. By morning, God reminded me why I was called into person’s life again after all that. I shock my head, annoyed again. Sometimes he can be so persistent and nagging, I just wanted to pout. I opened my Facebook, and a post from a local entrepreneur was at the top of my Newsfeed. “Don’t dig up who people used to be.”

When we are unwilling to listen to Jesus, he doesn’t give up, he sends the message again in a different light. Sometimes the past is beautiful and at the same time painful. Sometimes we don’t understand why certain people walk into our lives or the circumstances we go through, but I see the very thing that blossomed through the years because of it. This person has become one the dearest people that hold close to my heart. “I called you to pray for this person and speak truth to them, I called you to love them”, he reminds me. What good would it have done to rehatch the past? This person, or I for that matter, are no longer defined by the things of the past. If Jesus left the grave behind, so should I. And so should you. ♥️

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