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Knowing about the birds and the bees has proven useful

Why does dating have to be so difficult?  I must say, I’m not a huge fan of online dating.  Although I’ve heard of a few success stories, it is just not how I hoped I’d meet someone.  But you never know right?  Honestly, I think the only reason why I’ve tried it is because everyone calls me picky.

So this is what I get for listening to everyone.

I started with multiple sites; never know where luck will sprout from.  After days of just chatting, I guess you exchange numbers.  Who knows the rules, someone please tell me!  Anyway, the mistake of being on multiple sites is that you’re most likely talking to more than one guy at time.  So several.  They all just blend together at some point.  Why do these online guys just seem boring?  Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, because according to my best friend, not everyone is texter or phone conversationalist.  Ok that’s fair.  Besides I’m not the best letting people down.


So here I am, “texting” a few guys, when one of them asks me to dinner.  Oh.  Well, rule of mine, which backfired on me: if he hasn’t sparked your interest, does he deserve to get saved as contact?  See the problem with this practice is, I have no idea who I’m having dinner with.  So now I have to conjure up a good method to figure out what his name is.  After much brainstorming, I nonchalantly asked and he texted, “you pronounce it ‘sha-mee-ka’, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow”.  How did I even end up talking to this person?

I spent my entire morning at work stressing out about this ‘dinner’; was I meeting up with a man or a woman?  These days, one can never be too sure.  And before anything else, let me say, now that I knew his name (again) I tried to look up his profile.  Of course, not successful.  So there is no confusion, I like my men.  My first crush was when I was 5, with my 6 year old Italian neighbor.  What can I say, I liked them older and exotic apparently.  So I guess I’m meeting a stranger for the first time with no recollection of what this person looked like and unsure what sex they were.  This was quite daunting.  But what the heck, I went anyway.  Rest assured, I didn’t wear my “first date outfit”, I save that for men that really have my attention.

At the restaurant.


Lets just say, I’m truly grateful I paid enough attention in 5th grade health class.  Knowing about the birds and the bees has proven useful.  I walked in and just like any good PICU nurse walking into a code, my eyes started assessing the situation.  This was probably worse than a code because things weren’t as obvious.  Most people don’t know where to put there hands on that first date, I was struggling with where my eyes should be looking.  Refocusing and eye contact was so difficult!  I rambled on about I can’t even remember what and fidgeting in my seat, till I was able to crack the mystery.  Needless to say, ‘he’ didn’t say much in person either.  The time was purposely ticking slower than usual.  Every part of me just wanted to leave.

Another day ended.  I cracked this case, I can now rest.  I climbed into bed, and thought “oh Lord thank you for at least bringing some humor into this whole dating game”!



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