Sometimes I feel angry at God. He’s had me in this season of loneliness for far longer than I can bear. I never thought it was a selfish prayer, to ask to share a life with someone. That’s all I asked for. Doesn’t God hear me? I know He’s heard my other prayers as I watch them unfold before me. I thought I was living a morally right and biblically sound life. Did He not see that? In everything, my intentions were pure and honest. I opened my heart and there was nothing to love.
Sometimes I feel angry at God because it’s like I’m forgotten. I watch everyone pass me by. “Tell me some exciting news” they ask, but my reply is always the same. Did God forget me?
I lied to their faces, I said, “I’m fine”. But the truth is, loneliness is hard. Does He not care? I can’t drag my sister or even the best of friends on adventures I wish to take. So instead, I sit quietly dreaming of what the world outside my window might look like.
Singleness is hard. And this season of life is dragging. When will God answer? Who do I tell the aching of my heart? To where do I run? Sometimes I feel angry at God because I’m still in this season I do not wish to be. I never thought it was a selfish prayer.