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Falling in the Deep

The other morning a squirrel jumped onto my balcony.  It was probably the longest five minutes of his life as he paced back and forth looking for an out.  He was frantic.  But there he was stuck in a strange, unfamiliar place.  We all go through something very similar in our lifetime.You and I will experience a season in life where we fall into the deep.   And just like this squirrel, we are found running in panic.  For me, the deep was dark and scary, a place I hadn’t been before.  I wasn’t sure how I landed there and yet, here I was.  My days were dark and my nights even darker. I proceeded to do the only logical thing I knew.

I was confronted with three options: to run, fall further down, or look up.  Just like the squirrel it was my instinct to run.  I didn’t know where I was headed but my feet took off.  It wasn’t long before exhaustion kicked in.  My soul was worn out and all hope seemed lost.  I looked in the mirror that day and didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me.  Somehow I had fallen down, I had hit rock bottom.

After growing weary, the squirrel paused in his tracks and looked up.  There it was, a branch not to far off.  The day came when I cried out.  David’s plea in Psalm 6 became my cry, “My soul is in anguish.  How long?” (Psalm 6:3a).   As I fell to my knees, I started weeping and looked up.  There it was. I was face to face with my guilt.  In the moment, grace reached down and lifted me out of the pit, separating me from the darkness.  There it was, the hand of God.

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